Sacrament

The Priestess - Conduct and Mindset

If you are or will be the priestess, I want to speak directly to you here, and candidly. This is not meant to be a punitive thing, nor something to be afraid of. This section is about accountability, but it's also about the chance to facilitate something special. It's not about, “if you fuck up, you're going to sea hell, a special hell just for abyssal priestesses who don't do it right.” I want to communicate to myself and to future and parallel priestesses (who may read this) that I want to frame things here in a positive light. It's not often that you get the chance to gather others to observe, worship, and share in the love of something you hold dear and special and sacred. You have the unique opportunity to help them see the thing that loves you. The great depths are not empty and stagnant, but full of energy and matter trying to pull together. It is massive and it is living. If this section has been recommended as advice to you, it's because you feel that and others have noticed. They've noticed that it loves you. The ocean loves you. May her tides rise forevermore.

This section contains a bit of theory. Theory is when I make assertions at you and you listen to what I'm saying because it sounds right. This is a sardonic way of saying that I have a model of how these things work, and you'll have to trust in it or at least acknowledge it, as there's work built on those assumptions. I will likely add to it over time.

Approach

To be effective, conduct and mindset should be inseparable from one another. If you follow a rule and insist upon it, it will never be just. You are making highly variable decisions about how any rule applies in various contexts, perhaps without even knowing it. Just as well, if you are focused only on the mindset, you will be making many ad hoc decisions about how things ought to be. This results in a lot of freewheeling that can get away from you quickly. To be clear, neither of these options is categorically bad or improper or even wrong, however I worry it tends towards the priestess becoming inseparable from the practice in an unhealthy way. I worry that it will lead to the priestess making off-the-cuff and poorly-considered decisions, establishing precedents that will lead to either a lot of work for future priestesses to untangle, or will lead to the practice dying without her guidance. The latter is possible regardless, but we want to prevent that.

Either way, focusing only on one of these things will create a situation where the faith relies on you, as a leader, inseparable from our god. We do not want this. This is the thing we are trying to avoid.

All that is to say that these things work best together - you have a rule and you further have an understanding about why that rule is there. You understand the broader goal, the feelings and outcomes you are aiming to achieve. A rule doesn't have to be a thing to be afraid of, and it doesn't have to always be something you follow strictly - a rule is just a habit that keeps you aligned towards the things you want to happen.

Duty

You, as a priestess, have a special relationship with the ocean mother. You don't speak for her, but you do speak about her. You are not water itself, but you paint her tumultuous waves, describe what litters her seafloor, and sing praise to her days of calms and tempests alike. You recognize her beauty, and you understand what power she draws on. Your role is to spread her love to others and to help them understand that power.

You lead the service. You are not the leader or the ultimate authority. You do, however, organize the service and what authority you possess extends that far. Your goal is to keep the service on rails, which will necessarily mean determining the most that anyone can participate in any given phase. You want others to be able to have a say. You will not do this perfectly, but you can come close with grace, tact, and an earnest heart. I've heard these things come with experience.

Everyone assembled is your peer, and it's a basic duty of yours to treat them with kindness, love, respect, gentleness, and patience. You don't need to have a strong personal relationship with everyone, but they do look to you for guidance, and you must be comfortable expressing the vulnerable parts of yourself that hold your god and values sacred. You must be comfortable receiving the same from them, and you may need to make some time later to help them. If you resent this, please recognize that emotion and understand that it's fine to feel that way. Ultimately, you will need to decide on how you approach offering guidance, though, as it is one of your duties. A good priestess can care for others just as the sea cares for you.

You may invite others to perform blessings. You can get others very involved, but ultimately the responsibility of organizing service lies with you in one way or another. You may delegate tasks, but the sermon and the rite are your responsibility. Go through the motions, rehearse completely alone. Invite the spirit in, do everything just as you would with an assembly. If you're comfortable with it, you'll know it's right. It may feel lonely, and in fact, most of my worship has been completely alone. I think this is true for many of us who have prayed to the god beneath the waves over thousands of years. Don't be afraid of doing something wrong - the sea is beside you for the entire thing, and she is loving and forgiving and generous. You are here to teach and guide - the sermon is yours so you can share your thoughts and adoration, and the rite is your privilege of bringing everyone closer to the sea. You must be comfortable doing sacrament alone, if even only for yourself, because you must be prepared to put it all together on your own.

I think it's generally good practical advice to keep yourself organized and your equipment clean. The ritual value of these things cannot be understated, as I think it brings you closer to the spirit. However even if it honors the sea to physically go through these tasks, being able to stay on track without worrying about disorganization, missing or unclean tools, or a lack of structure will honor her more. It will be good for you and the participants. You will be respecting their time and ensuring they're listening more intently to the message.

Harm

I would like it if harm were completely preventable and avoidable, if nobody got hurt or had their feelings spurned, and a world of gentleness and kindness without fear of what we may lose. Insecurity, doubt, violence, and grief are gone forever, we never feel stupid or fearful or ashamed or upset. This world is not possible, and even if it were, it is radically different from our own. It is unnatural and not something to seriously attempt to recreate. I am not saying this to excuse harm - in fact, I am saying this to prepare you for the idea that someone will get hurt and it may very well be your fault. Even if it is not your fault, it is your duty and your responsibility to care for your peers.

If you hurt someone, they may never want to see you again. They may be angry at you, or it’s possible they will become depressed and withdrawn. You will feel many uncomfortable things - that is okay. Feeling defensive, frustrated, upset, targeted, depressed, guilty, avoidant, and on and on are normal reactions. However, you as the priestess must be willing to offer care, to check in, and to make things right. I think I cannot explain, in detail, how to be kind and loving and mindful - this is something you should be sure is true of yourself before filling the role. You want to care for others and you want to be a good presence for them. You are filled with the same love that the sea pours into your heart. Please share it with others.

In general, you want to be considerate and minimize harm. You want others to feel the same love you feel, and to feel that deep, permeating presence of the abyss and the spaces between. You want to organize a service that is well-structured as a foundation upon which others to build their private relationships with the sea, and to have a stable thing for them to ground themselves to. But remember first to focus on how it feels and facilitate an environment where everyone, including you, is positive about what's happening. You want everyone to feel like this is the right thing to do. If you have the drive and you feel her presence too, I think that you can succeed well.